Four words I hate hearing right now: Leighton works second shift.
It’s true, Leighton has been working second shift for a few weeks now and even though it is exhausting for him, I seem to be the only one complaining about it. Although I know that this change is only for a little while, but even knowing that it’ll soon be over…I still hate it more and more every day. Maybe that sounds silly to you, maybe you can understand where I am coming from, but if you have never been in a serious relationship with a second shifter, you just won’t get it. Might I add this isn’t just a 5 day a week gig, this is 7 days a week, second shift. That’s every. single. day. That’s 70-80 hours a week when I complain about doing 36 hours a week…boy am I spoiled.
Before Leighton started second shift, we had dinner together almost every night of the week. We spent time with each of our families. We had routine, we had really good quality time together and I liked it that way. When Leighton told me that he was going to be going to second shift, I think a small piece of my heart literally broke. Maybe you can understand that and maybe you think I am being just a little dramatic. But it’s true. Instantly I had a rush of thoughts going through my head such as:
When am I going to get to see him?
What am I going to do when I go back to school?
This isn’t how I wanted my summer to end.
I don’t want this change.
I knew there was not an option and I swallowed the tears (and still do often), knowing that it was going to affect him more than me. Because let’s face it, Leighton is a social butterfly. He doesn’t want to miss a beat and I don’t blame him. Now his Friday and Saturday nights are spent on the clock rather than pulling a sled down the track at a pull. One of our favorite summer activities.
Lately I have asked myself many times why second and third shift even exist. I think it should be a requirement that to work those shifts you must be either A. a zombie or B. have no friends or family that ever want to see you. That’s honestly the gist of it. Leighton gets home in the early hours of the morning, and sleeps til late morning. By the time he gets up and moving, it is time for him to go to work. We don’t have time to do anything. Most mornings I spend getting up early so that I can get to his house and am there when he wakes up so that we don’t waste any of the two hours we have together.
If there’s anything that this change has taught me, it’s that communication is everything to the success of your relationship. I’m no relationship expert, but I have watched enough successful relationships to know what it takes to have a good one. Leighton and I already pretty much talked all the time because we were together all the time. We have always had really good communication. Now since we aren’t together as much we talk more on the phone at night when he is getting off or in the morning when he gets up (if I am at work). I am more thankful for the time that I do have with him. Even if we don’t do much… Saturday morning we went to our local Farmers Market and it was nice to actually be out as a couple again.
I have always admired Leighton for being such a hard worker. He has always had a drive to be better than he was the day before. This change in schedule and change in our relationship has made me hate a lot of things, but it’s made me love him more for not complaining, and for working hard for our future. I know in the end when this is all said and done, I will look back and think, ‘that wasn’t so bad.’ I know that many relationships like ours require hard work now so that we can have fun later in life.
So if you are going through a change in your lifestyle like I am, here are some things that I remind myself every single day.
It could be worse. A lot worse.
Short-term. Short. Term.
I need to be strong and positive for him. Think about how I would feel if I were the one actually having to work that schedule.
Always tell him I am proud.
Sometimes this is hard to do. Some days are harder than others. Goodbyes are hard & I am selfish. I often think more of myself than others, and sometimes even Leighton; this is a flaw that I own up to. But with each passing day of second shift, I cross another day off my calendar and we move on. We get better. I won’t say it is getting easier, but it’s getting better. I know it can only make us better. ❤️
Thanks for reading! & again, thank you for the support you have given my blog just by opening it in your browser. I hope you have enjoyed this peak into my life and can relate in some way.
With love & a sprinkle of sarcasm,
Shelby